Interview: Life Coach Maya Alvarez on Overcoming Midlife Restlessness

Midlife restlessness shows up as questions: "Is this all there is?" "Did I make the right choices?" We sat down with Maya Alvarez, a coach who specializes in midlife transitions, to explore common patterns, practical strategies, and the small rituals that help clients reclaim curiosity and agency.

Q: What does midlife restlessness feel like to your clients?

Maya: It often starts as a low hum of dissatisfaction. People notice that activities that once brought joy feel flat, or they wake up with an odd sense of urgency and uncertainty. It's not always dramatic—sometimes it's a slow erosion of meaning that shows up as procrastination, irritability, or a desire for novelty.

"Restlessness is not failure. It's an invitation to deliberate curiosity."

Q: What are the first practical steps you recommend?

Maya: I recommend a three-part initial approach: (1) Gentle assessment—track your moods and energy across activities for two weeks. (2) Values refresh—restate core values in one sentence. (3) Micro-experiments—design one-week probes into new or former interests, like a creative class or informational interviews in a different field.

Q: How important is identity work?

Maya: Crucial. Many midlife changes involve identity reassessment. We help clients practice identity-based statements, such as "I am someone who learns new skills," and link them to tiny behaviors that prove the identity. The shift is subtle but powerful: actions shape identity, not the other way around.

Q: What role do relationships play?

Maya: Relationships are the context where meaning is felt. Midlife often prompts a recalibration of relationships—letting go of those that drain and tending ones that nourish. I encourage deliberate reciprocity experiments: small acts of generosity to test whether a relationship can be renewed.

Q: Any ritual you consistently recommend?

Maya: A weekly 'curiosity hour'—60 minutes reserved for exploring something new, no pressure attached. It could be a documentary, a local workshop, or a conversation with someone in a different field. Over months, curiosity hours expand possibilities and help people reconnect with joy.

Q: What about fear of wasted years?

Maya: This is common. I reframe it as "years lived" rather than "years wasted." The learning you accumulate is transferable. The key is forward movement: small consistent actions that align with your values are more reparative than dramatic pivots driven by panic.

Q: Any closing advice?

Maya: Be compassionate and curious. Accountability helps, but so does gentleness. Keep experiments small, celebrate curiosity, and let your identity evolve slowly. Midlife can be a period of rich renewal if you approach it with structure and kindness.

We end the interview with a short exercise from Maya: write one sentence that captures how you want to feel in six months, then list three tiny actions that will nudge you toward that feeling. Try it for a week and notice what changes.